The recent opinion piece by Patti Davis on living with dementia highlights a crucial, often overlooked reality: individuals with dementia retain emotional awareness even as cognitive abilities decline. This insight, echoed by professionals and family members alike, underscores the importance of shifting focus from what is communicated to how it is communicated.
The Disconnect in Family Visits
Many families gradually reduce visits to loved ones with dementia not out of waning affection, but from a sense of futility. When verbal communication becomes impossible, some assume the person no longer recognizes or benefits from their presence. However, this assumption is misleading. Dementia diminishes speech, but it does not extinguish feeling. Residents continue to perceive emotional cues through facial expressions, body language, and even subtle gestures like a softened gaze or a reaching hand.
The Power of Nonverbal Communication
The key is understanding that the emotional climate is being registered. As one spiritual care professional at Fraser Health notes, people with dementia pick up on “emotional currents” even if they can’t follow conversations. The emphasis should therefore shift from testing memory (“Do you remember me?”) to simply being present (“I’m here with you; you are safe”).
A Final, Wordless Connection
A powerful illustration of this comes from one husband’s experience with his wife during her final stages of dementia. Despite being unable to speak or move easily, she squeezed his hand and smiled when their wedding song played – a clear, wordless expression of recognition and love.
This demonstrates that even in the absence of verbal or physical response, a person with dementia remains present and capable of connection.
The lesson is clear: assume that your emotions are being felt, and adjust your interactions accordingly. Prioritize presence over performance, safety over testing, and love over expectation.
This isn’t just about making visits easier; it’s about recognizing the enduring humanity of someone living with dementia. Their personhood doesn’t vanish until their final breath, and even then, the echoes of their feeling linger.
